Losing it

“Do we really need two bags of Chicharrones?” asked Tony as he reached over the conveyer and grabbed the second bag to return it. I explained that I thought it would be a good idea to stock on one of the few snacks I can have and share. He assured me, “Oh no babe, I won’t have any…one bag should be fine.”

I survived Costco, food prepped for the entire week, and roasted more broccoli and cauliflower than you can imagine. I have become a slave to this whole NSNG thing. My feet are swollen and I’m beat. I try to psyche myself out by looking at the bag of two pounds of celery and convince myself of how savory my celery stir-fry will be. Who am I kidding? I want nachos. What I would do for nachos right now.

To satisfy my need for something savory and crunchy, I headed to the pantry for my Chicharrones…I don’t even like them, but they’re low carb and satisfy the immediate craving, so it works. I heard a crunch. Crunch…crunch, crunch, CRUNCH!!! This made me cringe and completely aggravated my misophonia. The sound was coming from the living room. Tony. Sitting there, inhaling my bag! WHAT?! Something took over me. My fists curled and I was ready to throw blows. He utters, “Only six….I ONLY got six, I counted.” WHAT? Hmmm, well. I am no mathematician BUT ISN’T THAT SIX MORE THAN THE ZERO YOU VOWED YOU WOULD HAVE?!?! Of all the millions* of other snacks he can have from the pantry, he had to choose one of my two snacks?

I am tempted to host a potluck at my office and grab his entire stash of protein powder barrels and have a smoothie party! Empathy can be taught right? To prevent a repeat, I had to take some serious measures into my own hands. My only two snacks are now safe in my office and away from him.

stash

What is it about being so focused on a diet that makes me crazy? I am doing things I normally wouldn’t do and am losing it (the pounds and my marbles). I know I am supposed to focus on all the stuff I can have versus the poison I can’t and shouldn’t have…but that’s all I can think about…the things I can’t have! Classic case of Greener Grass Syndrome I suppose.

I still want nachos. Just saying!!!

I will not take easy. Repeat, I will not take easy. I will not take easy.
The struggle is real.

*I don’t have a real count and can be a bit dramatic sometimes. This is just an estimate.

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