Are you feeling fabulous this Friday?! My Marble Jar Friends have me feeling fabulous! Well, they have me feeling fabulous just about everyday. Do you have a “marble jar friend”? I do. I only have a handful of them.
One of my favorite authors, Brené Brown, refers to a marble jar in her daughter’s classroom. It’s visual gauge of the classroom’s behavior. A very simple reward system if you will. The kids do good deeds and behave well and they are rewarded with marbles. Act out of line, inappropriate, or be unkind, and the teacher removes marbles. One quick glance at the marble jar and enough said. No explanation needed. They know exactly where they stand. When the jar is full they are rewarded with a classroom party. If it’s empty, it’s obvious. There’s a lot to work on.
In Brown’s Daring Greatly, she explains that the trust you build with others can also be measured like marbles in a jar. When someone in your life is with you in your darkest times, supports you, gets vulnerable with you, you’re putting marbles in the jar of friendship. It’s usually the small, simple things we do that allow us to earn marbles. Not just the big things. Relationships are so fragile, that sometimes an act of betrayal or mistrust can lead to the removal of all the marbles and who knows when or if another marble will ever be placed back into that once full jar.
It’s important to know who our Marble Jar Friends are. These are the people close to us who deserve to know our truths. My marble jar friend is someone who:
- I trust and trusts me back
- is clear on where we both stand
- is with me
- does not judge
- asks me for help, and is there when I need help
- has my back (it’s this unconditional “I got you” that makes me feel safe and secure)
- supports me, not enable
- loves me unconditionally
- is with me for the everyday small moments, not just the BIG ones
- protects our relationship
- is accountable, reliable and dependable
- shares the same values as I
What’s important to you in a friendship? How do you give and take in your relationships? What are your Marble Jar Friendship requirements? I hope you have a Fabulous Friday and hopefully, you get to share some time with your Marble Jar friend this weekend!