Do you want to like Moochers?

Do you want to like Moochers? I do. Seriously, I really do!

It’s Think out Loud Thursday and Real Simple’s Podcast: I Want To Like You: Moochers got me thinking more about a topic we all seem to talk about.

That person that goes to the potluck without a dish. The friend who has grown accustomed to never paying for a meal because it’s the norm that you always pay. Your friend that calls you for your professional advice, consumes your valuable time and you don’t hear from them again…until wait…they need more advice! That relative who calls only to see if you can “hook them up with a discount.” How many times have we screened calls because “What do they need now?!”?

We’ve all been the giver, the taker, and some where in between. Be it our time, services, or things. As long as we give, we enable mooching.

The definition of a moocher is:
1.  to borrow (a small item or amount) without intending to return or repay it.
2.  to get or take without paying or at another’s expense; sponge:

In the podcast, Behavioral consultant, Dr. Ted Klontz explains that there are two types of moochers:
  1. Opportunists: Those who intentionally use others where mooching is a part of their money and wealth management scheme.
  2. The Oblivious: Those who lack in sensitivity and emotional intelligence and are simply unaware. Whether they’re from a world of abject poverty or privilege, the Oblivious Moocher can be anywhere on the spectrum.
moocher meme
As long as givers give, moochers mooch.

Dr. Klontz explains that there are certain cultures encourage to take all that you can get and there are different norms for what is expected. Whiles one’s action may appear to be “mooching,” they are simply clueless. For example, depending on one’s upbringing, he/ she may view repeat invitations as a gift or a free meal ticket.

He explains, “The further up the financial chain, the more mainstream and common place the expectations are.” So the next time a moocher may get under your skin, find comfort in knowing it may not be anything personal and the moocher is completely unaware.

How do you deal with the moochers in your life? Do you call them out? Withdraw? Stop giving? Or do you find a way to redraw boundaries and protect your relationship? I would love to hear from you.


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